Feeling inadequate about your productivity during quarantine?
How are you doing? It’s been awhile since we connected. For me, it’s been a rollercoaster of emotions during this Covid-19 pandemic. Sometimes I feel hopeful and grateful; other days, I feel anxious and sad. If you’re feeling like that, it’s important to know you are not alone.
Good Intentions
I wanted to reach out sooner, but I was struggling with what to say. I wanted to comfort you, but I was having trouble comforting myself. I wanted to do what I’ve always strived to do as a life coach – inspire you to tackle all those things you never had time for before. And yet, I was having trouble even motivating myself.
It’s been about 6 weeks in quarantine now, and I’ve had some time to pause and reflect.
Weighed Down By Guilt
The best I can do for now is encourage you to listen to your heart, feel your emotions without shame, do what you are able to do, and accept that, for now, it’s enough. You are enough. Let go of the ‘shoulds’ and the guilt they carry. When you do, an interesting thing might happen (as it did for me). You might decide you want to take some action. Not because of guilt or obligation – those things carry so much resistance. Rather, because you feel called to, from a place deep within your soul.
Baby Steps and Self Care
A few days ago, I picked up a pen and wrote this post. That was enough. I waited until the next day to type it. It took yet another day to send it to you. Baby steps, but it’s now in front of you. This is my new normal. And perhaps it’s yours too. Let’s make peace with that.
All the chaos and uncertainty in the world right now can make us feel unsafe and fearful. We have difficulty sleeping. This can deplete our energy to the point where even getting dressed or washing our hair can feel overwhelming. So, let’s start there. If there was ever a time to practise self-care, it’s now.
Nothing is more important than that you feel good.
It’s not selfish to put your basic needs first. Only when they are met can you be of service to others, including those you are quarantined with. Ask what you need from yourself at this moment – and take it. Nap when you are tired. Take a walk if you need to clear your mind. Read or listen to music when you want to zone out. Call a friend when you crave social connection. How you spend your time is up to you. Be gentle with yourself and check unrealistic expectations at the door.
Is the Bar Set Too High?
We don’t have to look far to see people ‘maximizing’ their time in quarantine, through leading fitness and yoga classes, meditating twice a day, baking bread, cooking gourmet meals, organizing every corner of their home – even hosting shows on national television from their kitchens. These are super stars in my books – and if you are one of them, I salute you. Just as I salute every frontline worker that is risking their life (and the lives of their families) to keep us safe. But if you aren’t one of these people, you’re still a superstar. Why? Because you are working hard to stay healthy and well. Because by staying home, you are saving lives. And because you matter, not for what you do, but for who you are. Each day you get out of bed counts. You are a warrior!
You Are Not Alone
Stop beating yourself up. Release the pressure to do more and be more. Let go of the guilt. Seriously, we all need to cut ourselves some slack right now.
I know that’s easier said than done, especially if you are usually an over-achiever. It may take some time to get there. Take all the time you need. Know that you are not alone in this. If I can support you in getting through this, please reach out to me.
How I Can Support You
After a short and necessary self-care break, I have resumed my coaching services (which I do by phone). Normally, I require a minimum commitment of 3 months, but I’m relaxing that policy during this crisis to make coaching accessible to more people. This is a difficult, trying time for all of us, and talking it through really helps, especially if you feel more stuck and unsure than ever. The first session is complimentary – just send me an email or give me a call so we can schedule it. Let’s do some work together now so you can get through this and be ready to kick ass and live your best life once this is over! We’ll get through this together – and be stronger for it.
I love you all.
Wanted to say thank you for that!
This was definitely a great opportunity for me to get “organized”.
Thank you for your monthly posts, I do something every month, but never seem to catch up!
During this stay home, I started with the home office and the computer files!
Was able to do a little EVERY day, I can say that I finally caught up!
Ken
Hi Ken. It’s great to hear that you used this time to catch up and get your files in order. Just goes to show that baby steps really do add up to big results.
Thanks, Helen! This is terrific and timely. I (like you) am an overachiever and have found this time a true challenge, but by giving myself permission to process, I have recovered my balance (with help from God) and feel like I can start doing some of the things I’ve got ample time for now. I watched your NEAT show several years ago and it propelled me to purge and organize my way to a very productive, happy living space that I’m enjoying to this day. My next big step is a potential move out of state…saying goodbye to one part of my life and hello to new challenges…at age 65! So I want to thank you for the part your wisdom played in getting me ready to tackle that. Blessings and joy to you! Karen in Rochester, NY
Hi Karen. I’m so happy for you. Although it may not seem like it right now, I intuitively feel that the next little while will bring about positive changes in our lives. Change is good at any age because it brings growth, and if you are not growing, you are dying. Good luck with your next chapter – I wish you continued happiness.
Terrific message + very much appreciated. Thank you.
Hi Hellen,
Thank you for your post. It was so real and genuine and made me realize That I should be more gentle with myself. I have been struggling for a while, even before Covid, to tackle a couple of corners in my small condo. There’s a lot of paper work, art and craft supplies, financial statements and other important notes that I can’t seem too keep in one place. Part of the problem is I have a small space, difficulty focusing (maybe remnants of acquired brain injury years ago), and just the anxierty of letting go. I used to ice being and staying organized, but it’s been overwhelming.
I would love a phone/video session woth you! Thank you for all that you do and offer 💕.
My tel is –
Thankss
Daniela
Hi Daniela. I’m really happy to hear that the post spoke to you and gave you the encouragement to be more gentle with yourself. It’s hard to focus and make decisions when you are struggling and I feel some support will help. I will email you to set up a coaching session. (I have blocked your phone number for your privacy.)
Hello Hellen;
This post came at a perfect time for me. I recently quit my job to move back home so I could work on my divorce, and maybe prep the marital home for sale – during the pandemic. That was all plannned before March. Except the pandemic, of course. That was an added bonus.
As you can imagine, I have a lot to do but I am having a hard time getting out of bed and staying motivated while surrounded by boxes and trying to temporarily fit two households into one. All my spaces, including my outdoor space and my internal head space, are a disaster.
Last weekend, I gave myself a break on boxes. Now it’s about setting up my bedroom for a quiet space to start and end my day. I also keep a spot clear on my desk so I can write. Writing professionally is a long time goal so I work to make that my focus, not the cleaning up. That I have decided I will do in 15-20 minute breaks between writing, grandkids, and self-care. Self-care for me is yard-work, writing, and exercise.
Thanks for you post!
I would like a session.
Thanks again,
Josephine
Josephine, you are going through a major upheaval in your life – divorce and a move – which is stressful and especially challenging during a pandemic. It’s a great idea to set up a quiet corner for yourself in that way, for your self-care and for your writing. This too shall pass. I hope the next chapter of your life will enable you to make your dreams come true. I will send you an email to arrange for your first coaching session.
Thank you for this.
Like you, good days, and not so good days.
I own my own clinic and the concern for my staff and colleagues came first. Fears of loosing my business has waned with government subsidies. We hope we can be back at work in a new normal in a few weeks.
I am usually a very active person. Gym 3-4 x/week and training on my bike with a group of likeminded people. I tried some online cycling classes but I didn’t feel productive just anxious.
I feel at my best with daily walks, finding areas in my neighborhood where there are minimal people out and about, yoga/Pilates and meditation. I found meditation several years ago and have found it very calming.
Can’t believe we have passed week 6! Days rolling into one another.
Not to be ‘Pollyanna’, but journaling my thoughts, fears, and yes, what I’m grateful for has been helpful. In some ways this experience expanded my world. Not monetarily or with things but to really see what is priority in my life.
I worked in a hospital during SARS. This new event washed PTSD over me. I wear procedure and occasionally N95 masks in my work but having to don the masks to go out in ‘real life’ has been challenging. I stood in the grocery line feeling anxiety and teary in the first couple of weeks. That has all calmed down.
So, am I grateful? Damn straight. My family and I are safe at home. Am I, as most of us, a little fearful of this viral enemy? Yes, but taking things one day at a time. Not sweating the fact that I didn’t write a novel, paint my entire house, loose 15 lbs, etc, etc, that’s okay for ME. And to those who have been productive in other ways, I applaud you.
To the respiratory therapists, cleaners, PSW, clerks, team leaders, RN, OT, PT, NP, assistants, Social workers, EMT, police, firefighters, MD, volunteers, cashiers, grocery clerks, my gosh the list is endless. THANK YOU 🙏
#lack of productivity#self-careduringCovid-19#setting realistic expectations
“In some ways this experience expanded my world. Not monetarily or with things but to really see what is priority in my life.” Love this, Sandi! You have such a positive attitude and I truly appreciate your comments.
This made a wonderful positive difference in my day. Thank you so much for taking time to send it.
Thank you Hellen for reaching out to us. Your message is the most comforting and inspiring one I have read outside of Psalms. The stay at home orders have certainly changed our way of life, but in many ways it is better, as it has caused us to really look at our way of life, and what we truly care about. We will carry this knowledge with us as we go forward.
Hi Candace. You are absolutely right – this lockdown has caused us to rethink our priorities. There is a major reawakening happening right now on our planet and I do believe many will want to make changes to the way they’ve been living their lives. I’m happy to hear you found my message comforting and inspiring as that was my intention when I wrote it.
Hellen,
Thank you so much for your honest post from the heart. I appreciated reading it.
Thanks for showing us that we don’t need to “do everything” just because we might be at home with some “extra” time. A friend reminded me that sometimes the sheer emotional effort of getting up and getting through these days can take a lot out of us!
Be kind to others and be kind to yourself.
We are all in this together and will get through it all, together.
=)
Hi Sharon, thank you for taking the time to read it and to comment. Your friend has given you some wise advice, and I couldn’t agree more. We truly are not alone.
Hi Hellen
Thanks so much for your inspiring comments. This message was timely because I saw this isolation as an opportunity to catch up on long neglected tasks. Now I feel like I’m burned out. I have permission to pause for a day or two and catch up on me!
Hi Diane. Not that you need my permission, or anybody’s, but yes, you have it! Rest and refuel.
What a timely message. All my life I have just asked to stop the world for a month so I could catch up, so when they first mentioned isolation I thought my dream had come true. A room a day I thought, then all the papers in the office and my study, then the Garage -it’s own entity. Then after a week it became a week a room ( I know – a drawer at a time) Granted, year end got in the way, more time on the phone, longer walks with the dog, everything in the house takes longer because it seems to require discussion when two are available. So I think I am going to start this afternoon. your letter has inspired me to move forward no matter how slowly. As somebody said ‘ ambition can creep as well as soar”
Thank you so much.
“All my life I have just asked to stop the world for a month so I could catch up” – I’m sure we can all relate, Elizabeth. It’s one of those ‘be careful what you wish for’ moments. Let me know if I can support you in any way with that.
I was just mentioning you yesterday! Yes, exactly baby steps and each day holds a new normal and things to do! What I did last week may not be the appropriate action for this week and going forward next week we might be something else different. I have set goals and readjust them constantly. Thank you for all you do!
Hi Barbara. Is it just me or is there a lot of telepathy going on lately (re: your comment that you just mentioned me yesterday)? We do need to stay flexible, especially in times of uncertainty. Thanks for the reminder and for taking the time to share. All the best.
Helen, as always when I saw your email I opened it right away! I was so moved that I had to grab a couple of Kleenexes. You are truly an inspiration when I needed it and have helped me to inspire my boyfriend who is dealing with his own stuff with his work etc. Thank you for all you do to help me and others. Be well, and know that for all the good you do us we wish for you in return.
Connie,that is so heart-warming – thank you. And congrats on inspiring your boyfriend – that’s not always easy in relationships, so I commend you!
It’s comforting to know that even the best organizer can have a moment of reflection and use that to help us in our struggles. I think we all grow as we self reflect. Thats what I’ve been doing a lot of during this time and not letting guilt take over and shut me down. Blessed in the mess (at least until tomorrow)
Thanks Wanda. Yes, we are all human after all.
I agree, we do grow as we self reflect. And I feel it’s such a profound opportunity to get to know ourselves better, on a deeper level. I hope you can keep doing this and find some comfort in it.
Dear Hellen,
Your humility in mentioning feeling stalled for a bit has helped lift my spirits so much. Thank you!
Ken’s success after spending time “EVERY day” in his office is giving me hope.
And each one of your readers who commented have helped to reassure me.
I have special, important tasks on my Covid-19 Vision Board (!) related to taxes and executrix duties and order in my office that I am yearning to accomplish during this “free time”.
With ++ Zoom calls, Faith responsibilities and lots of distractability, April disappeared, and self-criticism loomed.
Today I found that by taking little 20-minute chunks, I’m feeling good about whatever I’m able to accomplish in them… besides, they say we should get up every 20 minutes if possible, and look 20 feet away from the task at hand 😊
I’ve been thinking about you Hellen and planning to call you again.
So glad to have received your email… and thanking everyone who commented!
Cair
Cair, great to hear from you again! I’m so happy that my message was able to uplift you. I am also grateful for all the readers who commented here. We are a beautiful community that loves to help each other – thank you all for this gift.
You have a Covid-19 vision board – wow! How interesting. Love your strategy of 20 minute chunks and looking 20 feet away. Sounds like it’s really working for you. Would be happy to resume our coaching sessions whenever you are ready – just give me a call or pop me an email. In the meantime, stay safe and healthy.
Dear Helen,
Thanks for your email! Just a thought for you as we experience the new normal.
An experience which just happened to me was that I went to 2 donation sites and both were overflowing with overnight dropped off stuff. The goodwill has issues with people donating items that should just be trashed. People need to be reminded to determine the difference between gently used and dirty unusable things before they take it to donation sites. Due to the pandemic I found that even if you see online that a donation site is open there’s a chance it will be closed when you arrive. Or, that will turn you away due to overflow as they aren’t selling things yet and only accepting them. This is in the USA and our state is still not open for business unless deemed essential. Our streets are easy to navigate with people staying home and nature is trying to heal. Hope you will be able to enjoy some nature for yourself. Thanks again for all you do.