How to Avoid Traffic Jams When Travelling Down Memory Lane
Oh, the things that we keep.
The other day, I found myself in our storage room, digging through bins and boxes. I was in the mood to get rid of stuff, in my on-going effort to create more breathing space down there (I admit – it’s an obsession). Although I was tempted to go through the kids’ boxes, I knew better than to do it without them. I had to take a hard look at my own stuff.
Take baby steps:
Over the last few decades, I have whittled my own memorabilia down to just one medium-sized box. It’s been a process (I started with several), and letting go has become easier from one year to the next. Now it was time to reduce the keep-sakes so they would fit into a small, more manageable container.
Enjoy reminiscing:
Part of what I enjoy about the decluttering process is revisiting the past. It’s funny how we forget things. Like the comments teachers wrote on our college assignments (“with some structured instruction, you could become a brilliant writer” – I think that was meant as a compliment). Or what our high school friends wrote in our yearbooks (“to a most inventive, original, gutsy girl” – I never saw myself that way).
These can give us clues about our talents and attributes. They’re a way of excavating our true self – the person who perhaps got buried under responsibilities, a real job and a mortgage. That’s probably why it’s taken me so many years to whittle down my mementos.
But when the time comes to go to a retirement home, (hopefully many, many years from now), I don’t want to be dragging along Rubbermaids full of my past. By then, I plan to have streamlined my container to just one small shoe box.
Overcoming fear:
So here’s what I did – maybe it will give you some ideas if you’re tackling your memorabilia stacks soon. I had several plaques awarded to me for past accomplishments in high school (like getting the highest mark in Marketing 101). They were bulky and heavy. So I photographed them and then tossed them. I felt a small pang of fear, I won’t lie. Accomplishment is one of my top values, and one of my biggest attachments.
But when that voice inside my head said “if you toss them, you won’t have any proof left of how smart you were”, I rebutted “oh yes I will, because I’ll have the pictures of my certificates in a folder on my computer, and I can look at them any time I want, without having to go in the basement and dig through the bin – so there!” (I’m very long-winded when I talk to myself).
Try this simple trick:
This simple step, of photographing bulky items and then tossing them, allowed me to reduce my things to fit the smaller container. Mission accomplished.
Here’s another tip:
When I was in high school, I was into buttons. Not the sewing kind – the kind you pin to your shirt with a message on it. I had accumulated quite a collection. Rather than keep them all, I decided to just keep a few that brought back fond memories – like the one I bought at my first concert. Do you have any collections? You don’t need to keep the entire collection – just pick your favorites.
Decluttering will make everyone’s life easier:
What are you most attached to from your past? It’s okay to keep some of that stuff, especially since it probably ties into your values. But if you can take some small steps towards reducing the volume, you can make space for more current, relevant stuff. And it won’t be such an ordeal when you want to revisit the good old days – just open a digital file or photo album.
Also, when it comes time to exit this life, wouldn’t it be comforting to know you’re leaving enough to be remembered by, but not so much that it burdens those you leave behind? A little morbid I know, but as a professional organizer, I have seen families agonize over what to do with this ‘inherited clutter’ – which is especially overwhelming while they are grieving.
Decluttering is not just an act of self-care; it’s an act of love towards those closest to you.
So if you can’t do it for yourself, do it for your loved ones.
Have you ever tried to edit your memorabilia? How did it go? Let me know your thoughts by commenting below.
Thanks for sharing these tips. I think the memorabilia is the hardest stuff to decide about. I struggle to get ahead around here and every year it gets worse. While sorting and sifting through years of stuff, the biggest roadblock is hitting a box of stuff like that from the past. The detour down Memory Lane is a long one …
I really miss your show.
Joyce 🙂
I think you’re right Joyce, it’s a tough one for most people. But one thing I ask my clients (and myself) when sorting through boxes of stuff from the past is this: do you want the best times of your life to be behind you or ahead? Letting go of the past makes space for the future – trust me on this.
This is a wonderful article and perfect timing for me as I am in the midst of decluttering the basement full of not only our families things but those of my husband’s family. I hadn’t thought of photographing items and unfortunately some things have already gone out which could have been photographed.. but going forward this will be a big help. You are right about going down memory lane, but I wish the family members would have dated pictures or written notes about what these items actually meant to them and why they were so precious. Maybe talking and reminiscing about the past occasionally would be a nice way to pass down these memories to next generations. So often I just talk about the present or future when we get together because I don’t want to give the impression that I’m not “with it” or that I only want to talk about myself. So next time our family gets together I will ask each person to share a memory from their past with everyone.
Thanks Hellen!
Glad you found the article helpful and timely Barbara. I hope this idea makes the process faster and easier; it did for me and I’ve used it successfully with many clients. Good point about dating things or attaching notes about what they mean to the person. I’m glad it’s opened the door to more conversation for your family.
Thank you Hellen, this is really timely! Just before Christmas I discovered that water had made its ugly way into my basement and my son has been busy doing the repairs and reno for me (he has a business, Renoman Canada). So this morning he gave me the ultimatum about some “stuff” in the basement – Use it or Loose it (and preferably the latter as far as he is concerned!) – so guess what I will be doing this evening! A shoebox eh? Oh dear!
Wendi, a shoebox was my goal; it doesn’t have to be yours. Just decide ahead of time how much space you want your stuff to occupy (i.e. one large Rubbermaid bin) and start decluttering with that goal in mind. You can do it – I have faith in you!
I’m not fond of clutter but with kids, it seems the clutter just breeds itself! What I do for myself is think about what I would want to rescue if we had a fire or flood (or other disaster). If it’s not important enough to be rescued, it’s easier to toss.
With my kids, I put the things I think they’re done with in a box. If they haven’t missed the items for a few months, we open the box together. I’d say only 20% of the items in those boxes goes back into their rooms. The rest gets donated because the attachment to the item(s) is gone.
We’ve also watched some hoarding tv shows together and if that isn’t motivating, I don’t know what is! 🙂
Paula, thanks for sharing some great strategies. Sounds like you have things under control! I don’t think you’ll ever be a candidate for “Hoarders”.
Hellen, thanks so much for such a timely article. My mom passed away 2 years ago and I am still struggling with emotionally charged sentimental clutter. I have two young children (4 and 1) and really need to make our living spaces clutter free as I do not want to pass this lifestyle on to them. I’m committed to photographing a bunch of things in the coming week and then letting them go, perhaps for someone else to enjoy. Thanks again!
Donna, glad you found the article helpful. I’m so sorry to hear about your mom. I understand how difficult it is to sort through these items, but please trust me when I assure you that the pay-off is worth it. In addition to photographing (or as an alternative), consider keeping parts of things i.e. a small piece of fabric rather than the whole article of clothing. Most importantly, remember that the memories are inside you and getting rid of the articles will not take that away from you. Please write back and let us know how things go. I’m here for support if you need me.
Hellen, how did you know about the piles I have had out to purge over the past “two” years. I have photographed some things and then tossed, and smiled and reflected on others and then tossed.
A couple of things I have decided to keep a while longer, because more than the memory of the person, they are very poignant validations from them for me as a person, and I think everyone can use some reminders of validation. They are not about my achievements or success, but that I was important to another human being … that there had been a connection.
And the important special little things, that evoke wonderful memories, I have framed in a 12″ x 12″ shadow box and I have on my wall in front of my desk … a photo of me as a child taken in a place I hold dear to my heart, the “lid” of an acorn to remind me of another trip I take annually with friends, an old tube of water colour paint from my grandfather’s studio and a button from his army uniform, the key from my camp trunk, a sweet bouquet of delicate china flowers that broke off one of my mother’s favourite china ornaments and still looks wonderful all on it’s own, an old label addressed to my great grandmother in my grandmother’s careful tidy handwriting, a blue crayola crayon from a box of 64 given to me at a very meaningful and celebratory event where I was honoured by my industry (the other 63 my neice is delightfully colouring with) and other bits of memories. It was the best thing I ever did. These had all been sitting in a box I rarely opened. Now I see them every day and smile each time I look at them. And it can hang on the wall in my retirement digs!
But I have stalled. Other than the one page of printing that I kept from the “many” lined school notebooks full of gold stars for excellent printing and the books of coloured maps so carefully drawn the rest have been tossed. I loved doing the printing exercises (what does that say about me!). However, there remain 4 “big” boxes of old letters, “Scrapbooks” and stuff that was to be scrapbooked … from 40 years ago … need I say more. I had a lot of people who welcomed me into the world when I was born. My mother kept all the cards! I am determined to have this not be genetic. You have energized me again with your post to tackle this monster, and to whittle it down now. You have given me permission to take baby steps. I am aiming for one box … medium rubbermaid for this round. Thank you!
Wow Mary, you really get it! I love the idea of creating a shadow box – what a wonderful way to honor those items and the memories they evoke. You are doing really well – keep it up and you will get there.
Hello Hellen……great article!! If I may add to the suggestions: when it comes to letting go of clothing that has special memories….one idea is to take patches of the cloth from the different pieces of clothing and have it made into a quilt of memories. As for the clothing article itself, I agree with you that taking a photo of it (before dismembering it for quilting purposes) will do the trick. Additionally, making a quilt means that you could take the clothing article and use cloth from it to make more than one quilt, for example if you have two or three children and would like to give each one of them a memory quilt. Sincerely, Grace
Grace, thanks for sharing. Glad you enjoyed the article. Your idea is fantastic! I’d also like to add that if you want to make the quilt (or have it made for you), give yourself a realistic deadline, mark it in your calendar, and if you haven’t done it by then, well, you probably never will. Don’t let this become another ‘unfinished project’ you want to ‘get to someday’, because then it becomes clutter and can make you feel guilty every time you look at it.
What timing. Today my husband and I worked on our hoarding room (should be an office/guest room), we came across a box of mine filled with memories from years past. When it came time to throw away my favourite pj’s from when I was little I burst into tears. The pj’s are now sitting on my kitchen counter waiting for me to give them up. I think a photo may be just what I need to move on.
Tara, I’m glad to see that you heard the message just when you needed to. That seems to be the case with several people who have commented on this post. Funny how the universe works in mysterious ways. If a photo doesn’t do it for you, perhaps you could keep a bit of the fabric in a special place. By the way, were these tears of happiness or sadness? Do you understand what these pj’s represent for you? You don’t have to post a response if you feel it is too personal, but I would encourage you to ask yourself these questions as part of the letting go process.
I admit, I’m an organizing fanatic and a declutterer. But one thing I do know is… once you “get rid” of the stuff, you forget about it! It seems so important at the time… while we are looking at it and holding it. But once we “toss” it, life goes on and we keep moving forward.
I have a little box with memories of my 2 miscarriages. I have a journal written from the moments I found out I was pregnant. When I come across it and start reading it… it makes me cry and I feel so sad. Soooooo…. I’m thinking I will “toss” it. I will NEVER forget those memories and my babies will forever be in my heart. I’m just not sure that opening the wound and having it bleed again is a good thing. Memories are wonderful and they will always be with us, but I think we have to keep moving forward.
Margie, your comment really touched me. I’m so sorry about your miscarriages – that must have been such a difficult time for you. But it sounds like you’re in a good place right now. I agree, if things make us sad and open old wounds, it makes sense to let go of them; but as you probably recognize, it takes time to reach a place where you are ready to do that. Thank you so much for sharing what I’m sure is very personal. I know it will help others who are reading this right now. I’m inspired by your courage and your decision to move forward – and heal.
Hi Hellen,
I LOVE your e-newsletters! You are an inspiration to me and I always try to do at least one thing that I read about as soon as possible after I read it online. Thank you! I wanted to ask your advice on what to do with old photo albums…I have at least 2 Rubbermaid bins of them (in the garage) and I don’t know what to do with them. I am reluctant to throw them away as they “contain” many of my childhood memories, but I don’t really have a place in my house to display them. Any suggestions you have would be great! =)
Thanks Sammi – that’s one of the best compliments I could ask for! Regarding your photos, I’m wondering if the albums are the adhesive ones or the kind that the pictures just slip into. If they are NOT the adhesive ones, I suggest you consider transferring the photos to photo boxes. You can purchase these inexpensively at big box department stores or photography specialty stores. These hold thousands of pictures and take up minimal space. Also, if you choose a pattern and color that works with your decor, you can put them on shelves, stack them under tables, and generally make them part of your decor. But if the photos are in the adhesive albums, I don’t suggest you remove them as you will likely damage them. Let me know if that is the case and perhaps I can come up with another solution.
Hellen, thank you so much for your words of encouragement, although it is going slowly, it is going. I really appreciate your insights and I love your blog and your newsletters.
I love all your information. I use it but it is a very long and slow process. Although the majority of my home is becoming less and less cluttered and even some spaces are clutter free, I have one room that is a constant and life long thorn in my side. It is over whelming. But with your continuing advice and encouragement I am getting there, I must add that my 6 yr old granddaughter’s lecture is also helping to move me forward….”She told me that when they no longer play with toys they go through them and either give it to someone or throw them in the garbage, all I have to do is do that!!” So a lecture from a child seems to have had an unusual impact….
Thank You Helen, I miss your shows…DJ