The Gift of Being Present

How often have you taken a picture of a breath-taking scene, only to find that the photograph just didn’t do it justice? I remember taking pictures of the Grand Canyon and being so disappointed after I got them developed (pre-digital cameras). How is it possible that something so spectacular in person can look so lackluster in print?

It’s the same with life. There’s no replacement for being right there, in the moment. When we are not present, we miss so much.

“Don’t wish your life away. Christmas will come on its own time. We’re continually planning and looking ahead to tomorrow, next week, next year…and we walk right on by so many of the things that are in our life today. We don’t even see them”

– Jess Lair, Ph. D.

It’s easy to get caught up in the busyness of life. We can be in one place physically, but our mind may be a million miles away, thinking about the ‘to-do’ list, or what to make for dinner, or how to solve that crisis at work. Have you ever found yourself lost in thought while driving, and then wondered how you got to your destination? This not only compromises safety, it also robs us of enjoying the passing scenery.

I remember when my girls were little, while I was helping them with their homework, I’d also be cooking dinner and doing laundry. (That was before emails and text messaging were invented…now the demands on our time are even greater). I’d often burn dinner, shrink the clothes and become frustrated with kids. Over the past few years, I’ve realized how much more effective it is to concentrate on one task at a time. It actually saves time because we don’t have to fix all the things that go wrong when we’re not paying attention. It would have saved me a fortune on pizza delivery back then! Plus, we can relish the aroma of simmering pasta sauce or the smell of freshly cleaned laundry. Perhaps most importantly, our children will benefit from our undivided attention. Why lose out on the pleasures of life, both big and small.

Don’t fall for the myth of multitasking. Doing several things at once has been scientifically proven to impair memory, increase stress, and make us less productive. In fact, a study published in the Journal of Neuroscience showed that it takes the brain 4X longer to process things when it’s switching back and forth between tasks.  Multitasking leaves us feeling exhausted and unfulfilled. It prevents us from being in the moment.

Next time you are participating in an activity, be with that activity (rather than thinking about all the things you should be doing instead or still have to do). Here’s an example of something I think we can all relate to – food. What do most of us do when we are eating – especially when we are eating alone? Well, we turn on the TV or read a magazine; maybe even do some work at our desk. Just for today, I’m going to challenge you to be in the moment when you eat. Eat very slowly and savor each bite. Pay complete attention to the taste and texture of your food. Enjoy it to the fullest. Make it as pleasant as you can, by setting a nice table, lighting a candle, maybe playing some relaxing music. This is especially helpful if you tend to eat impulsively or have trouble making healthy food choices. Try it just for today and you might like to do it every day. The more awareness you bring to eating, the easier it will be to make nourishing choices and feel satisfied after a meal.

A friend of mine recently shared another exercise that can help us stay in the present moment. She pays attention to her thoughts throughout the day and compartmentalizes them. She writes them on a piece of paper and divides them by categories – like with like. She has noticed that this process not only brings awareness to which topics clutter her mind, it also forces her to pay attention to what she is thinking and feeling all day long. It’s given her a lot of clarity.

I challenge you to try these exercises and I hope you will share your experiences with this online community by commenting below.

 “Life is what’s happening while we’re busy making other plans.” – John Lennon