Will the Real You Please Stand Up

My daughter participated in two fitness classes back to back, led by the same instructor. She told me how funny it was that the instructor was soft-spoken and ‘Zen like’ during the yoga class and then became a loud drill sergeant during the ‘combat’ class that followed. I wondered which of the two personalities she really was – and which one was her alter ego. But then it occurred to me that she probably has both characters living inside of her. After all, aren’t we multidimensional people?

We all play various roles, like: mother/father, wife/husband, daughter/son, teacher, caregiver, friend, entrepreneur, employee, volunteer, customer, student, etc. We also play deeper roles, like the smart one, the pretty one, the responsible one, the messy one, etc.

Sometimes we get stuck in one role and forget to let our other roles out to play. For example, we get so used to playing the mom role that we neglect the part of us that wants to let loose, be a little less responsible for everyone else – more care-free and playful (our inner teenager). Our self-talk can keep us in a box, preventing us from experiencing the joy of expressing all the aspects of who we are. This can cause us to lose sense of our true selves. On the other hand, if we make a conscious effort to embrace the different facets of our personality, our lives will be richer and we will feel more fulfilled.

“All the world’s indeed a stage
And we are merely players.”

-Lyrics from Limelight, Rush

On the other hand, sometimes we are cast in unlikely roles and we put on a mask so we can be accepted. We change our identity to fit someone else’s expectations. This takes a lot of energy and can be draining. We can get stuck in stereotyped definitions, thus limiting ourselves. This can cause us to be disguised to ourselves – that is, forget who we are, and what we want from life. We can grow resentful and not understand why.

“We all wear masks, and the time comes when we cannot remove them without removing some of our own skin.”

-André Berthiaume, Contretemps

Are your beliefs (or someone else’s) about how you ‘should’ be acting, causing you to play make-believe and feel uncomfortable? Question your beliefs about how you should be acting. Whose truth is that anyway? Worry less about what others think. After all, “It’s better to be hated for what you are than to be loved for what you are not” – Andre Gide

What part of your personality is begging to come out and play? And what can you do more of to encourage it? Please share your response and any other comments below: