How to Make Your New Year’s Resolution Stick
This is the time of year that many of us make our New Year’s resolution. Sometimes, it’s the same one as last year, and the year before, and maybe even the year before that. Why are New Year’s resolutions so hard to keep? What can we do differently to make this the year we finally achieve our goals?
I’ve been coaching clients on how to turn their good intentions into commitments, and I’ve seen some dramatic results over the years. Below are some suggestions that seem to work well. Perhaps they can help you keep your New Year’s resolution.
Concentrate on just one or two goals for now, so you can stay focused rather than scatter your energy. You can do it all, but not all at once. When you achieve those goals, you can add new ones. With every achievement, you will increase your confidence, which will lead to more success.
Determine your most powerful reason for achieving each goal and get clear on how it will benefit your life. It is helpful to look at your top values and determine how your goal relates to them. When goals are closely tied to our most important values, we don’t need to rely on sheer willpower to achieve them because our inspiration comes from within.
Put your goals in writing and place them where you will see them every day, several times a day. Some people put them on their screen saver or desktop while others are content to have them on a sticky note on the bathroom mirror.
Take one small action everyday consistently to move in the direction of achieving your goals. Schedule it in your calendar. Breaking down a big goal into tiny tasks makes it feel less overwhelming and easier to tackle.
Recognize set-backs as just that. Ups and downs are a normal part of life. When you feel like you are taking one step forward and two steps back, just ‘dust yourself off and try again’ (as the song says). Beating yourself up is counterproductive (and we probably have enough people in our lives doing that for us anyway). Be kind to yourself; get re-inspired by reviewing the benefits of reaching your goals. Limit set-backs by planning for obstacles. For example, if your goal is to eat healthy, keep some almonds in the car for emergency hunger pangs.
Reflect on the positive changes you’ve made so far and celebrate those little successes. For example, think of all the times you took the stairs instead of the elevator or walked away from yet another pair of new shoes you didn’t need or couldn’t afford.
The key to commitment is accountability. Find a goal-buddy and support each other or consider hiring a coach. Share your intentions with family, friends and even your online community, including the readers of this blog! Not only will this increase your accountability, it may lead to beneficial resources and helpful suggestions. My goals this year are to move to a home within walking distance to the lake and to increase my speaking bookings by 50%. Hope you’ll make this the year you turn your dreams into reality.
Hi Hellen,
Hiring a coach is a brilliant idea! Having friends for support is fabulous too but having a coach a wonderful investment in your life. Something I will be doing this year. 🙂
My goals this year are taking my artwork to the next level (having some gallery exhibits) and toning up after losing 50 lbs this past year.
Happy New Year to you and your readers!
Linda
Hellen – You make so many good points (as usual). I want to lose a bunch of weight and finally get my house organized (very clean but lots of stuff that is not organized). I want those to be my two goals for 2010, but the problem is they have been goals of mine for many years and they are always just too big to acheive it seems. I keep working on them in starts and fits and have had some short term success (and setbacks) along the way, but I can never really conquer them. And if I look back 10 or 15 years both problems are overall worse than better. How do I structure my goals for this year to finally get some measurable success that will actually stick long term? Until I can get to something reasonable and possible, I am not sure how long my motivation will stick. These are things I really want and am serious about but…they are really gigantic goals and I have no idea at this point what is even realistic…after all this time, I have a lot of doubts of being able to make any real progress. I don’t want these goals if they are only going to be a source of feeling like I don’t measure up all year.
Thanks,
Jill
Dear Jill,
I know just how you feel. I have been trying to achieve these same two goals for many years also. I decided that this would be the year I am finally successful. One of the things that I have learned in all my reading is that looking at it as a whole can be too overwhelming. My new approach is to take it in little pieces. What I did was to sit down and create a master list of things to be tackled – everything from dusting the furniture to reorganizing the closets. Anything that I thought was part of the job for each room I wanted to tackle, and the same concept for my weight loss and “transformation”. Having everything down on paper took a little bit of the weight off my shoulders. It didn’t seem quite as huge. Anyway, what I do is when I’m sitting with my coffee in the morning, I look at my lists and pick one thing from each that I’m going to accomplish that day and that’s my big goal for the day. If I happen to finish something and I still have time and the stamina, I pick something else. Anything that I don’t fully finish from the day before becomes the first thing on my list for the following day.
Repetition will lead to habit. If you would to keep in touch, I’d love to have someone to share ideas and support with. You can email me at RN2BE55@msn.com. I hope this helps.
Beth
2011 resolution: Empty the inbox!